What are your Priorities? or Next Question, Please.

I'm out of ink.

I'm out of ink.

You can find lots of stuff on how to focus on the things that are fulfilling to you. If you want to stay focused on your priorities, you should whisper them to yourself in the morning, schedule them in, big rocks first, practice every day, summarize them at night, and so on and so on and so on.

Priorities. You mean MY priorities? Um, yeah yeah, ok. Let me just do the dishes and the laundry, tend to the kids, get to the dry cleaners, manage these three projects at work, check social media, check social media, check social media…

Latest craze, the 36 questions that lead to true love, #4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

For me? You know I have small kids and a depressive husband, right? I don’t think I qualify for a perfect day. Like, my husband will be happy and enthusiastic and the kids won’t whine even once? What would I even do? Just weep? And if they continue to be whiny or depressed, how can I have a perfect day? So either they have to be different or I have to not care about them? Next question.

Even thinking about thinking about what my priorities are—other than this Sisyphean to-do list I live under, doing many things but getting little done—just causes me to short-circuit. A lovely living environment? Writing? Teaching my children to be useful members of society? Painting? Connecting to my body and caring for it? Becoming the go-to person professionally? It’s just another farging list!

My husband is a good father and a kind man, and beyond that he will do as little as he can to get by, probably because he’s pretty focused on just staying alive. I’m not going to change that, and I need to stop hoping that something will change in him and stop trying to come up with a cure. It’s time to focus on myself and growing, taking myself to the next level. I just don’t know the path.

The good news is, because I’ve been taking a look at my life, I’ve been relatively dismayed, which means I’ve been working on my home. Because who lives like this? It’s busy work that distracts me from trying to figure out how I want to live my life.

Next question?