What Is a Frammitz? or How Do You Name It If You Don’t Know What It’s Going to Be? 


The thing with the pet name your father gave you is that you weren’t there when he gave it to you, so you’re never really sure how it came about if your parents aren't the candid sort. My parents are still around, but that doesn’t help as much as you might imagine.

About 10 years ago, I was at the dinner table with my father and asked “Dad, what’s a ‘Frammitz’?” He chuckled and responded “You are!” I couldn’t get anything else out of him.

My father and mother divorced when I was two years old, and it was pretty much silence between them after that, except for major life events and serious transgressions on the part of me or my brother. I figured I might be able to play my parents against each other to get an answer to my question. If Dad refused to answer, surely Mom would tell me. Not to spite him, exactly, but maybe a little.

So I shared my conversation with Dad, and she just chuckled and said “He’s right!” Great, the one time they agree with each other.

She claims he made it up, but I wasn’t so sure.

So I Looked It Up Online

And as far as I can tell from the few references I found, a frammitz is a widget or thingamajig of some sort. This makes it a sweet nickname for a baby, and it’s got a kind of German sound to it, which works with my family’s background.

A frammitz is, however, usually the little doohickey that breaks and gums up the works. In other words, a frammitz only seems insignificant until you find out that it’s essential. I guess I like that, too.

When I started looking at names that haven’t been taken on the internet, I kept coming back to Frammitz. It has been with me my whole life and is ready to be imbued with whatever meaning comes of all this. So Frammitz it is. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but we're going to get underway and fix the ship while we are under sail.